To Think I Would Have Left You There
by myaliaswrites
Summary: Edward briefly considers how life would be without his brother and can't believe that almost became a reality.


Edward simply could not take it anymore.

He and his younger brother sat in their apartment together, reading silently in over-sized chairs. They were placed just so across the room from one another so that his brother sat by the large glass window and Edward faced his bed. It was late, and Edward had sight by nothing but a dim lamp. Normally the mundane glow of a grey Munich sky would have to suffice, but tonight Alphonse was reading well by the serious light of the waxing moon.

"Alphonse..." Edward spoke, low and laced with an unfamiliar emotion.

Edward had stopped reading and started watching his brother, who sat with his back dipped down into the seat of his chair and both legs lazily draped over one of its arms. His head was propped back on its other arm, half-lidded eyes focused on some alchemical formula that was completely out of reach and bore no weight here, Edward knew. His lips parted slightly in blind concentration and his long, chestnut-blonde ponytail was lying over his shoulder. Dressed in a pair of thin, loose sweatpants and a nicely fitting black t-shirt, Alphonse's clover honey eyes flitted alive at his brother's sudden speech. He leisurely rolled his head toward his older brother, feeling quite relaxed, and their gazes met at last.

"Brother?" Alphonse gently asked in response, his sweet voice immediately filling the tiny room.

Edward's golden eyes quickly filled with tears at the sudden realization that his younger brother was alive and in the flesh, mere feet from where he sat. Al's face contorted in worry and confusion at his brother's strange reaction, but before he could say anything, Edward spoke again.

"Alphonse..." he swallowed thickly. "You are so... I'm so..." Ed just shook his head and looked to the floor.

Alphonse's eyes carefully widened and color dusted his cheekbones.

"Ed... are you-"

Ed was out of his seat and swiftly heading toward Alphonse in no time at all, leaning down to scoop his little brother up from his study. He wrapped his big arms completely around Al's lean frame, lifting him effortlessly as Al carelessly dropped his text. Al's feet landed on the hardwood and Ed just held him there in an embrace, stroking his soft hair. Al held onto him tightly, fingers digging into his brother's back.

"I love you, Alphonse."

"I love you, Brother."

Tears finally rolled down Edward's cheek and he sniffled, completely failing to conceal his emotions. He was hardened around everyone all the time, but not around Al. He softened up so quickly to his only brother, his only remaining kin - always ready to bend over backwards for him. Alphonse didn't quite understand the sudden episode, but said nothing.

"My sweet baby brother... Al, I'm so sorry..." Edward shook out.

The words made Al's chest tighten and ache, feeling like he would never be able to console his trauma-stricken brother.

"Edward..." he choked, "Please, brother. Everything is okay now." He tried to speak just above Ed's quiet heaving breaths.

"You... didn't have a body for so long, you... I put you through hell and back, you lost so many of your memories and for the longest time probably couldn't even put a clear face to my name. But you still tried so hard to come back to me, Alphonse... Alphonse... how can you forgive me so easily?" He sounded so despondent and Al's heart broke all over again. He hung on even tighter than before, burying his face into Ed's shoulder for a moment before breaking the fragile silence.

"Because I love you. I want to be by your side, brother. I told you. I want to see the things you see and go where you do. I want to learn this world with you. Do what we can to protect it. And we share the responsibility. The fault is not yours alone. We... made the decision and took the path together. We have learned so much, and... I'm here now. I'm here, brother, I've got you. Edward..." his tone grew firm so that his faint voice wouldn't crack. He felt like he would.

Edward pulled back to look into his brother's eyes, holding his arms, tears still swelling. He could not believe what they'd endured, and even less so that his brother was still with him in the end, now smiling weakly in front of him, eyes just shining and laugh lines clear, safe and healthy.

"I'll protect you, Alphonse. Whatever it takes. I was stupid to ever think I should have... left you alone there."

Alphonse let his head fall slowly and laughed one breathy _ahah_ , just falling back into Edward's embrace. He didn't need words.


End file.
